What Kind of Princess am I Raising?

Growing up, I think I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to play football, wear flannel shirts, go frog hunting, and play in the mud. My hair was never done…never, and I wanted to hang out with boys because girls were so bossy and prissy.

I would never have told anyone that I wanted to be a boy because in all reality I didn’t, but by all standards of my life I looked and acted like a boy…until I found out that being a girl was a fun and beautiful thing.

Next thing you know, I was wearing makeup and doing my hair, but there is no way anyone could make me wear lace. No way! In college I hit an all time girly girl high when I started selling Mary Kay to help pay my bills. At that time in my life I don’t even think I owned a pair of jeans and lace was now okay. My life made a complete turn around in this department. Although today, people might say that emotionally I act more like a man because I don’t have very many emotions.

As a mom of two girls, I want to instill in them the value of who God made them to be. I want to raise them to see that being a girl is a wonderful and beautiful thing. In a culture that has given up on sexual identities I want them to not only embrace their God given gender, but also embrace the beauty that lies in being a woman. In no way am I saying it is wrong for girls to play football, go frog hunting, or play in the mud. My girls do all of the above, but I want to teach them what God has to say about being a daughter of the King. We all know that the daughter of the King is a…princess!

This week as I was preparing this article I became very curious as to what my daughters thought made a real princess. I have a nine year old and five year old who both love dressing up as princesses and have been enthralled with the new Frozen movie, so much so that no one is allowed to sing any song from that movie within earshot. Not really.

Lexie, my 9 year old shared that a princess is someone who is privileged, important in God’s eyes, special, unique (In her words: princesses are ALWAYS unique mom), beautiful, trustworthy, graceful, and princesses never wear shorts. She went on to say that she doesn’t ever want to be a princess, “It’s just not me.” After a quick evaluation she responded that she would like to be the princess she described if she didn’t have to wear dresses all the time.

Breanna, my 4 year old, shared that a princess is loving, kind to friends, patient, loves Jesus’ Bible, trusts in God, and loves what Jesus made.

Honestly, I didn’t know what they were going to say. I wondered deep down how much they had received from their friends, Disney movies, and outside sources. I was pleasantly surprised to hear their responses.

Today I want to share with you 6 things that matter as we parent our girls and/or princess’ for God’s glory using Psalm 45: 6-13 to help guide us.

[bctt tweet=”Six tips to raising a godly princess. #lovemom “]

1. It matters who is on the throne.

We can’t be a princess if we are in the King’s spot. The throne is reserved for One person alone and that is Christ. I need to be teaching my daughters who is on the throne and who is not.

Psalm 45:6a – Your throne, O God, is forever and ever.

Last week, I had the opportunity to take a group of teens to a Disney theme park. As I walked around I noticed strollers filled to the brim with bags of toys, goodies, wands, food, and all the fun things Disney has to offer for a price. Not only did I notice these treasures, I noticed the attitude of the children in the vicinity of these treasures. The treasures didn’t put them on the throne, but their parents allowed them to rule the family. One of the most dangerous things we can do as parents is to allow our girls to sit on their own throne. Not only does is affect their lives, but the lives of all around them. We should daily be pointing our girls to the One who sits on the throne and reminding them that it isn’t them.

2. It matters what we love.

Girls love things. If you were to ask any girl right now what they loved, you would probably get a huge list of things. Maybe some material things, maybe friends and relatives, possibly food or candy, but one thing is for sure our hearts love.

Psalm 45:7a – You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.

There is one thing that we need to be teaching our girls to love, and that is righteousness. How many girls would answer the above question with righteousness? I don’t know of many. Our girls will find things to love, as mom’s let’s shepherd our girls to love righteousness and hate wickedness.

3. It matters what we wear.

Please understand that this point is not to be tied with any legalism but meant to point us towards being beautiful daughters of the King. Teaching our girls values of modesty is so important in today’s culture. I just want to challenge us moms in the area of clothing with our girls.

First, does our clothing show that we are daughters of the One true King? Do we delight in being image bearers of God?

Second, do we look like girls? Going back to the opening paragraph, I don’t think there is anything wrong with girls wearing flannel shirts, but are we teaching our girls to be feminine?

Psalm 45:11, 13, 14 – the King will desire your beauty…Her clothing is interwoven with gold…She will be led to the King in embroidered work.

God has made us to show forth beauty, each in our own way. We aren’t nor shouldn’t all be the same. God has made our daughter unique and that alone is beautiful.

This is going to look different for every child and family, but one thing should be the same, we should displaying the beauty that God has made us to display as women. This beauty starts in the heart and then transforms our minds, actions, and the way we dress because how we dress is a reflection of the heart.

4. It matters who we hang out with.

Psalm 45:10b – Forget your people and your father’s house.

At first glance, you might wonder why I chose this verse for this point. I want to quickly share that this doesn’t mean to disinherit your family and friends, but let’s look at the word forget.

We see this concept in Ruth 1:16 – Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.

Ruth was leaving her people behind, but there was something more to the story of Ruth that might help us understand this word forget. Ruth lived among a very heathen culture. She had friends and family that were completely opposed to God. She even worshipped a different god other than Jehovah. In Ruth 1:16, Ruth is forgetting her people to follow a better people and a great God!

May we teach our girls to follow after this great God! That they would love Him and His people and leave behind those who are pulling them down the wrong path. Does this mean we cannot minister to the lost? Absolutely not! We are to be a light to the world.

May we follow the path of Ruth, who was a light for all generations, to forget those who are hindrances in our walk and press on toward our high calling!

5. Our focus should be in the inside.

My favorite verse out of this passage is Psalm 45:13a – The King’s daughter is all glorious within.

Our girls are pulled in so many directions. Our culture is teaching them daily that the newest, best, and nicest things are what life is about.

Above any other point, I think this is the most important. If we are binding God’s word on our hearts and living out the daily Christ life walk it will change us from the inside out.

We can never be on the outside who we are meant to be, until the inside is who Christ has redeemed us to be. If we teach our girls anything before they leave our homes I hope this would be it! We should be focused moment by moment on the heart. We want the beauty to radiate out of the depths of who they are in Christ!

6. What is our attitude saying about who I am?

The end of this passage wraps up with the outpouring of the heart. When our girls are “glorious within” the overflow will come out of the mouth.

Psalm 45:15 – They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing; they will enter into the King’s palace.

As moms, isn’t this what we want for our girls? I know I do! I want my girls to be glad and rejoice, what mom wouldn’t?

The last thing I want to encourage as we raise our girls into beautiful women is that we try to bring about this gladness and rejoicing with counterfeit things. We try to create that gladness with things, food, toys, makeup, trips, and so much more, but true gladness does not come through counterfeit things. True gladness and rejoicing comes as a result of God being our King!

Let’s raise our girls as princesses of the One and only King! He is worthy of this praise and lifestyle. It takes hard work as a mom. There is no easy fix! Our only hope for our girls is the King of Kings!

About Valerie Hopkins:

I have been married to a wonderful man of God for over 12 years. We have four children that we claim as ours, three of them by birth. I love life and enjoy doing almost everything…cleaning, not so much, but I try to find the good in it. I have a strong passion for helping women grow in their Christian walk. I love missions and lead two short term missions trips a year. I also love designing and creating. My greatest joy in life is serving and following Christ. I love it when He shows up and works in amazing ways in the lives of people around the world. He is truly my greatest treasure and blessing. On my blog you will find printables to help you in your walk with Christ, Bible studies, and devotionals. Find me at http://www.thebloggingpastorswife.com