Recently, I watched one of my daughters be spoken to very rudely by a peer.
One of the hardest things for me as a mom is allowing my children to feel the pain of being mistreated by others. I wanted so much to remove her from the situation and soothe her feelings and tell her that mean girl had no right to speak to her that way.
But, in that moment, I also realized that my daughter would learn more of I simply let her experience a slight injustice. She handled it with way more grace than I would have. She persisted in treating the ‘mean girl’ with kindness while in her presence.
A few minutes later we were in the car and my daughter was painfully quiet. I knew she was thinking through what she just experienced and wasn’t quite sure how to talk about how she felt. I fought the urge to lead her into conversation about it, but knew she also needed to learn proper responses and attitudes. And for that moment it meant allowing her to mull over the situation and search out her feelings for herself until she brought up the subject.
She finally did so at bedtime. I was so relieved to finally be able to minister to her heart about this.
We talked about how she felt being treated badly.
We talked about how she responded correctly and what she can do or say should it happen again.
We talked about how it is necessary to speak to a parent or trusted adult, so that feelings don’t bottle up and cause anger.
We talked about extending grace to the other little girl because she had a different home, with different parents, different circumstances and maybe she hadn’t been shown how to be kind.
We ended the conversation praying for the little girl.
That experience was hard for this mama’s heart who just wants to fix everything and make things easier for her children. But, allowing that experience was the best for the heart of my daughter.
Last week, Danika Cooley of Kids in the Word blog, shared ways you can be preparing your children for trials before they happen. She wisely wrote:
“Kids need to be able to encounter pain without losing faith in Christ. By preparing our children for trouble beforehand, we can help them process pain so they can stand strong in their faith.”
Amen and Amen!
Click the image below to read Danika’s advice on “How to Prepare Children for Trials Before They Occur”
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Thanks for the invite to link up with Grace & Truth, Kaylene. Blessings on your mother heart. I know how that feels. It’s SO hard to see our children suffer. My daughter has a friend/acquaintace who is not very nice to her. (They are teens.) And what is so hard is that the girls parents are our workmates. So hard, but we’ve learned more about being gracious.
Thanks so much for hosting!
You handled that so well. I learned from reading your wisdom. As my daughter is now 12, that is happening more and more. I pray that she will be kind to everyone no matter what those around her do. Linked up a couple of posts and your button is on my party page.
Thank you for linking! This mom thing is hard! I can only imagine it’ll get harder as they grow older.
This is so true. We need to train our kids to run to Jesus during those times! Well – to turn to Him in all circumstances. Avoiding pain is not the solution. Helping them understand how to handle it properly and in a healthy way is. However, that means we need to do the same. I am working on a parenting book – just finishing up – and I address this very issue.
Thanks, Kaylene and all of the other ladies, for hosting!
Blessings to you and yours.
Kaylene, I’m so glad to finally make it by your link up. As a mom of three girls, I know that facing meanness is something we have to deal with along the way and I really appreciated your loving approach. Thank you for sharing this experience. I linked up for the first time! A little late to the party, I know, but I’ll be looking forward to coming back again on Friday. 🙂
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