Dear Dad on the Couch

(This is the sequel to “Dear Mom on Social Media”)

Dear Dad on the Couch,

I get it. Your day was busy.

You had many things to do.

It feels good to sit down a bit and let the TV think for you.

Your wife brings you a cold drink and you relish the feeling of being cared for.

Dear Dad on the Couch

Then your child bounces in. He has a ball and wants you to come outside to play.

You say, “No, I’m too tired.” Your eyes glued to the screen.

He walks away, dejected.

Another child is singing to herself while coloring in the chair beside you.

You say, “Quiet, I can’t hear my TV.”

She curls up in silence no longer finding joy in coloring a picture for you.

Still another, pretending to be a superhero, leaps in front of you striking a pose in his cape. You frown and say,

I can’t see my TV.”

He had worked hard all day, hand sewing his cape and constructing his duct tape sword with ultimate care.

He walks away with head hanging and shoulders sagging. Tears starting to form,  he is completely disheartened at his hero’s displeasure in him.

Dad, I know you’re tired, but you won’t remember your best day of TV.

Your kids will, though.

They’ll remember seeing your disapproving face in favor of the screen.

They’ll remember hearing your impatience in favor of a show.

They’ll remember your words as you favor the virtual over the real.

They’ll remember daddy had no time and found them an inconvenience.

Dear dad, be their hero while you still can. Click To Tweet

Dad, I know you’re tired.

You’ll get a chance to rest without interruption after you’ve poured into their lives more than just providing food and a home.

They need your voice to cheer them on.

They need your deep rumble as you pray over them at night.

They need your strong arm steadying them as they teeter on their bikes.

They need to feel your whiskers as you kiss them goodnight.

They need to see you smile and nod, listening intently while they describe their latest adventure.

They need your shoulder to cry on when life is too much.

They need a little pep talk to help them stand for what they believe in.

Daddy, you’re their hero.

They need you to stay in that high position.

Their comforter.

Their guide.

Their encourager.

Their safe place.

Their strong hand.

Their defender.

Their dad.

So when you come home tonight, remember as you drive in the lane,

Your real job has just begun.

One day you won’t have this job anymore.

And you’ll look around in the silence and wonder where they’ve gone.

Dear Dad, your real job needs you. Click To Tweet

A note to my dear Sam, thank you for the way you father our children. Thank you for all the efforts you put in, seen and unseen, to give them the dad they need. Love you, K.

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  1. Dianne Thornton says:

    Wow. Encouraging & Challenging post … You know … I see myself, sometimes glued to my computer working on blog stuff while I hear … “Mom! …” (Important to keep this going on when the fam is off doing their thing so I can be who they need when we are together!)

  2. Iryna says:

    What an inspiring post. I have to remind my husband all the time, that he absolutely has to spend some time with our daughter. Even if he’s tired and now is not the best time, but child needs not only her mama but a dad too.

  3. Sarah says:

    My father passed away when I was 21 . My husband and I have 5 amazing children and this post was so amazing. I have tears rolling down my cheeks reading it. I know how hard it is at the end of the day to get through the last 2 hours but what a great reminder it is to know how much they need and depend on us. And how they are the reason for it all!!! Thanks again for all you do:)

    • Kaylene Yoder says:

      Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband’s father passed away three weeks before our wedding. It was and still is a hard time. It seems losing a loved one makes us try harder to be there for our own and do a good job at it. God’s grace gets us through! Even when we blow it, we can make it a teachable moment for the family. Keep fighting the good fight!

  4. Wendy Briscoe says:

    My former pastor had 6 children and his work day was Sundays. On the way to church in their huge van, he needed it quiet so he could prepare his heart for the sermon. After the church service he needed quiet to reflect and think on all that was done in the church service. Sometimes we just need to give our Dad’s some breathing room. A space of 30 min. etc. They go to work, and have traffic to deal with, then they come home to all of our drama. There is no “pause” button for them. It is nice to just give them some time to decompress. Then, the kids and us wives can talk to them in a little while. 🙂 Just my two cents.

    • Kaylene Yoder says:

      And a good two-cents it is, Wendy! Thank you. I agree that dads need a break, too. My goal with this post was to remind the reader (moms, too) that while raising kids is tough, tiring and overwhelming, we will never regret getting up and pouring into their lives just one minute more. Each family must enforce rules that will enable them to run smoothly and provide rejuvenation for both parents. Far too often we see one parent slacking, while the other is worn out emotionally, physically & spiritually from carrying the extra load. All of which leave the kids confused about what marriage and family really look like.

  5. Pat says:

    Powerful post and a good reminder. Usually there is one parent carrying the load which leads to exhaustiin and confusion in the children. To be a parent is to deny oneself at times. Children grow up so quickly. Reading this post reminded me if the old sing, “Cats in the Cradle.”

    Thanks for sharing!

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