Dear Mom on Social Media,
You’ve put in countless hours caring for your energetic preschooler.
You coached your daughter through a fierce wall of attitude. (and remained calm)
You’ve cooked and cleaned,
folded and ironed,
swept and dusted,
planned and shopped,
baked and organized once again today, and all you want to do is find caffeine and a brain drain. So you pick up your phone and its Pinterest and Pepsi to the rescue.
Five minutes go by. Your son asks you to read him a story.
“Not now,” you mutter, never looking up from the screen to see his sweet inquiring face.
Twenty minutes go by. Your daughter asks, “Mom?” for the umpteenth time that day.
“What now?” you ask, irritated.
She slumps away with a, “Never mind.”
You don’t pursue; just one more scroll…
An hour later, you’re still there. Head down, blocking out your household.
Your three year old bounces around you hollering, “MOM! I’m hungry!”
You glance at the clock and realize dinner will be late if you don’t start now.
In your frustrated rush you bark out orders, fully expecting that the ones you just so easily ignored, should now be pleased to pick up their books or help set the table.
They don’t understand why you’re so stressed. They just know they’d better oblige.
[bctt tweet=”Dear Mom on Social Media, look up!”]
After the family is fed, the dishes are done, another load of laundry folded, and the floors swept,
you decide to take another stroll through social media.
Your daughter, seeing you more engaged in the screen than her presence, quietly slips off to her room and falls asleep without a goodnight.
Your son curls up on the end of the couch, knowing you won’t have time for a story. He keeps looking at you from time to time, hoping to catch your eye.
He falls asleep and an hour later you notice the silence.
You feel a nudge of guilt as you carry him to bed, yet it’s soon forgotten as you scroll through Facebook one more time.
Dear mom, wake up.
I know you’re tired.
I know you need a break.
But you’ve got one shot at this “raising kids” business.
One. Is social media really worth blowing it with your kids?
They need your eyes to notice them.
They need your face to light up at their sight.
They need your lap to be warmed by.
They need your listening ear. Their concerns may be small right now, but what if it isn’t small one day? Will they feel safe enough with you to share the big and scary things of life?
They need your hands to stroke their cheeks.
They need your gentleness to remind them that not all of life is hard.
They need your example to teach them kindness, love, thoughtfulness and acceptance.
[bctt tweet=”Dear Mom, you won’t remember your best meander through social media. But your kids will. “]
So instead of reverting to the screen, curl up with him for another book. Fall asleep together.
Hold your daughter’s hand and remember your insecurities at her age. Listen to her. Cry with her. Love her through that tough thing.
Pour into them just a few minutes longer.
Your rest is coming, after bedtime prayers.
Or maybe after the fifth goodnight hug and the third time you chase the shadows away, but it’s coming.
You won’t remember your best meander through social media.
But they’ll remember the way you showed them to live life with the ones who matter most.
I promise, your rest is coming.
And its coming sooner than you’ll wish it did.
Amen! Just the timely reminder I needed. Thank you.
This almost made me cry. There were tears coming to my eyes. It is convicting to read and a good reminder to get off the phone. Look up and pay attention. We get such a short amount of time with our precious babies and it would be such a shame to miss any of it because of a stupid social media site. Thank you for the reminder!
Love this, Kaylene. It can be “easy” to excuse my time on my phone as work. But deep down I know the difference between scheduled networking and aimless Facebooking. I ended up deleting Facebook from my phone to stop this habit. Our days seem to go a lot smoother since! Thanks for this much needed reminder, friend! 🙂
I believe this equally applies to the papas!
Yes! Stay tuned for one for dads! 😉
Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been thinking and pondering writing a post about giving up social media to find rest for my soul. Do you mind if I share your post with my readers?
Thanks!
Writing it was a great reminder for me. A very sobering reminder and much needed.
Yes, you may share with your readers. Please leave a link back to the original article. Thank you!
Outstanding and convicting. This is one of the best of your posts I’ve ever read. Well done!
Thank you for your kind words, Shonya. It was a much needed reminder for myself. 🙂
I’m so glad that I’m not raising children today. SOOOO many distractions. “Back in the day, ” in the 80s and 90s, I had only my cordless phone. No internet, no cell phone. And boy did I love that phone. My neighbor and I talked every day on it while we looked out our windows together. We still had distractions–that blasted phone–but we had less of them I think. At least, when we went out, our only social media was the other moms pushing their kids on the swings. I think if I was a young mom today and read this, I’d probably be convicted. That could be me…
My goal for this post is to call us moms to a better standard, but mostly it was a call for ME to step it up. I love me some Facebook and Pinterest…my children deserve better! I deserve better! I need to be reminded of that time to time. 🙂
This resonates beyond belief. When my daughter was and infant, I used to be so enthralled with social media as well. I was a stay-at-home-mom and needed the dose of “normal” from time-to-time. Now, that my daughter is growing (she’s almost 2 now), I’ve found that when I slip back into that habit, she notices. So much so that sometimes she climbs on the couch and puts her face right in front of the screen to get my attention.
And it makes me feel guilty. So, I’ve started cutting way back. Blocking notifications, having only designated time for social media (at naptimes and bedtimes), and it’s been a tremendous difference because I feel more present.
And I think that’s the point you make here. That parents need to be present because like what you said, we only have one shot at this parenting thing. Facebook, Pinterest they’ll be there when kids are asleep. We can scroll endlessly through the feeds and get caught up.
We can’t do that with our kids and their growth. And your words are a great reminder of that.
Thanks for such an inspiring post, Kaylene! Have a great rest of the week.
I loved this! Pinned, stumbled, and shared on g+. I don’t want to be guilty of this anymore.
I thank God for letting me read this article this is what I needed . I recently closed down my private practice of dentistry to look after my two boys and spend some quality time and bring them up for God’s kingdom but still it took many days for me to accept the fact that I am kind of unemployed and missed my practice a lot still at times I do and this fb and pintrest have become my so-called diversion and entertainment but when God loves his children he knows to bring them back to his ways. Praise the lord and thank you so much for this article it was like wake up call for me. Loved your site and kind of read most of write ups at a stretch truly it was very encouraging.
I’m SO glad we didn’t have internet on our phones when my kids were young. It’s such a trap and I’m sure I would have had a hard time with it. Now, I see my daughter with her little son, and although she loves social media, she loves him more and she’s recognizing the trap. I’m so glad for that, I wrote a piece over the summer about watching a young mom on the beach scroll through her news feed while her little son vied for her attention beside her (to no avail).
And you know yourself that we bloggers can have a problem with this too, what with all the social media platforms we use and communication with other bloggers. It’s so easy to get sucked in.
So thank you for this piece. You are wise to already notice these things while your son is small.
Tweeted, and also sharing on my fb page! 🙂
Wow, this was convicting! Thank you so much for writing this!!! It’s so important to treasure the time we have with our children and to be fully present. I sometimes wish we could just throw the television, computer, iPads, and cell phones away! God bless you and your family <3
I have the same urge to throw it all away & live off the grid for a good long time! lol Monitoring our time well is the key to not missing out on our life. Blessings!
This is beautifully written! I LOVE IT!
I LOVE this. God has been convicting me for some time to give up social media. I’ve been praying about it and he has been using the Holy Spirit relentlessly to speak to me. I came across this article and it was that much more of an affirmation to be obedient to Him. I have two toddlers, 3 and almost 2, and I know their toddler days will be long gone and I don’t want to miss these precious days because I’m sucked into my phone. Jesus knows exactly what we need at the exact time as long as we will open our hearts to hear him, blessings will follow obedience to our savior. Thank you for sharing this! It’s beautifully written and exactly what I needed to read. God bless you and your family!
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