Proverbs 4:3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
Ah, mothers and sons. There is something incredibly special about the bond between them. I always wanted to have a son. Now I’m incredibly blessed with four. Four completely different and unique young men who love their mama fiercely. Yes, I’m actually rather proud that I have mama’s boys. I’m thrilled to hear “I love you, Mama.” I love being asked for a hug. I cherish moments they want to spend with me. I admit to being a little smug when I hear how much my boys missed me when I am away from them for just a short while.
Yet the term “mama’s boy” seems to be a negative one. I don’t know why. Mothers and sons have always had great relationships. I think maybe it comes when the son doesn’t ever grow up and away from the mom? If so, I can see that being a problem. Since my oldest isn’t even 12 yet, I have no experience there.
When I say I have “mama’s boys,” I just mean they are my boys. Not that they are wimpy, coddled never-to-be-called-men-boys. I want my boys to grow into godly men, who love the Lord, love their parents, love their fellow-man, and eventually, love their wives and children. I want grown sons who are not afraid to kiss their mama on the cheek, but who will stand up to me if I ever cross the line with their wives. The truth is, I’m not an expert. I mess up all. the. time. I disappoint my boys and let them down. But I have hope and pray daily that they will be men of God.
34 Ways a Mom Can Build Relationship With Her Son
The following is a list of things that I try to do, in my limited experience raising my four young men, to help you raise a mama’s boy who will (prayerfully) be a man of God:
- If you are married, make sure your marriage comes first.
- Respect his dad. I know this can be a tough one, especially in broken homes. But please try not to talk badly about your son’s father, at least in front of him.
- Offer him lots of hugs and kisses.
- Spend a lot of time with him.
- Let him be a boy: dirt-playing, bug-finding, noise-making, chance-taking.
- Allow for independence, even if it seems scary to you.
- Let him get hurt. (I know!)
- Let him express his feelings. Let him cry. Despite popular opinion, crying is good.
- Don’t be afraid to let him be sensitive: sweet, calm, understanding, compassionate.
- Offer comfort, but don’t force it on him. Oh, the time when my oldest didn’t accept a kiss on a boo-boo to “make it all better!” But comfort should be for him, not for us.
- I don’t want to raise hard, tough boys. I want to raise compassionate kind men who are happy in their own skin and can respond gently and compassionately. – my friend Wendy
- Let him make mistakes.
- Let him take responsibility for his own actions.
- Encourage daily time with the Lord.
- Pray with him.
- Read the Proverbs over and over and over again to and with him.
- Read the Epistles over and over and over again to and with him.
- Make meals with him.
- Don’t be afraid to let him do household work: laundry, dishes, sweeping, cleaning. His wife will thank you some day. 😉
- Learn his likes and dislikes.
- Show an interest in his interests.
- Speak to him about purity. Often.
- TALK to him…a lot.
- If he has been with others, ask open-ended questions rather than “Did you have fun?”
- Listen to the little things your son wants to tell you. Some day, there will be big things you want to listen to.
- Be available. Set boundaries. Balance in the key.
- Let him take apart broken things. He learns how things work while he’s taking them apart.
- Have fun. Laugh together.
- Be HUMBLE.
- Ask forgiveness.
- Give him work; teach him that work is a good thing and that the Lord says working is good.
- Don’t be afraid to have high expectations for him, but don’t shun him if he fails. He WILL fail sometimes, since he’s human (like you are!).
- Admit your failures.
- Make him responsible for things around the house. A boy wants to grow up to be a man and a man takes care of others.
Bonus tip for father’s since you are SUPER important in a son’s life:
Be the best living example to teach your son to love the Lord, respect his mom and be a servant to others.
[bctt tweet=”34 Practical Ways a Mom Can Build Relationship With Her Son #boymom @blestwithboys”]
How about you? What are some things that you do/have done to help foster a close, loving relationship between you and your sons?
What are some things that you do/have done with your sons to encourage them to grow into godly men?