A Letter to the Daughter I Never Had

While I have been blessed with two amazing young boys, I haven’t had the privilege of bringing a daughter into this world.

I have an unborn child in heaven and I’ve always thought that she is a girl, but I can’t be certain of that. If that baby was a girl born from my womb, this letter is a portion of the truths I would have taught her as she grew up.

Some of you reading this know that I love and care for you deeply as well as your daughter. This letter is full of the things that I want your daughter to know because she means so much to me.

Some of you are my nieces, my cousins, and my sisters. This letter contains truths that will help you to find joy and freedom in who (and whose) you are. I pray that you will let these words into your life and change you because you are dearly loved.

Most of you reading this, I will probably never meet on this side of heaven. Though I don’t know you, I care deeply for you and for your daughter. It is for this reason that I have written this letter and that I am sharing it with you today.

Perhaps you feel as though you have failed your daughter as a parent, but I am here to tell you that it is never too late. The only thing bigger than the mistakes we have made in the past is not living to correct them for the future.

To the mother who feels she hasn’t taught her daughter well, this letter is for you. God gave you the daughter He did for a reason. He doesn’t make mistakes. Let Him hold you up where you fall short.

To the mothers of daughters everywhere, ponder these truths in your own life. Live them out for her by your example. Teach them to her that her life might be blessed.

To the Daughter I Never Had (and to Yours),

If I could sit with you, face to face over a cup of coffee or a milkshake, these are the things I would want to tell you.

The first thing I would make sure that you know is that you were created by a God who loves you.

I don’t know the circumstances of your birth. Maybe you were planned and brought into this world by loving, doting parents who made it their life goal to make sure you understand how very loved you are.

Maybe the situations surrounding your birth have been less than joyful. I’m sure your parents have made many mistakes because we all have. Know that their shortcomings usually aren’t an indication of their lack of love for you.

Keep in mind that you see things from an earthly perspective, but there is an eternal perspective to consider as well. God knit you together in your mother’s womb because you matter to Him. He brought you into this world because He loves you. And though your parents don’t always show it perfectly, they love you, too.

I’d make sure that you understand that God has a purpose and a plan for your life.

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Sometimes it feels as though you are going nowhere quickly. You may wonder what the point of it all is and why life has to be so hard sometimes. Let me tell you that God created you because He loves you but also because He has something for you to do. Seek Him daily for direction and He will show you what that purpose is. You are valuable and your life has worth. Don’t let discouragement hold you back from being all that He created you to be.

Your worth comes from God, not from man.

Listen carefully to this one, child. You are worthy because you were carefully and lovingly created in the image of the God of the universe. Your parents may think you are the apple of their eye, but you are the apple of God’s eye, too. The kids at school may tell you that you are popular and cool or you may be one of the kids who is picked on, bullied, and ridiculed. In the end, all that matters is how the eyes of God see you. He sees you perfectly because He created you perfectly. People can make us feel desired or despised, but it is God who is truly devoted to who we are; unconditionally and irrevocably.

You are beautiful.

“Do not let your beauty be merely outward… -rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” -1 Peter 3:3-4 (NKJV)

You are stunning though not because of your size or because of the image reflected in the mirror. Not because your parents say it or because the boys say it, but because God says it. Realize now that elegance is fleeting. It is a matter of perception and it is always somehow just out of our reach. And yet God says that beauty is a reflection of the heart. Don’t fall prey to the world’s idea of glamour, but remember that God’s creation is always a thing of magnificence to behold. Do not call what He has made anything but. He shaped you with His hands, He molded you with His love, and all that He makes is exquisite. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

These next words, dear Daughter of the King, are probably the most important: There is a battle for your soul.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” -John 10:10 (NKJV)

God sent His only Son to die on the cross that you might live in Him. Know, though, that you have an enemy who wishes that your life would never realize the truth of what has been done for you. The truth of to whom you belong and what has been done on your behalf has the power to change your life. The enemy doesn’t want that. He wants nothing more than to keep you from knowing your worth and your value in God.

Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Never take your eyes off of Christ. Know the Word of God for it has the power to cause the enemy to flee.

God is holding you in His perfect arms. He loves you. Never, ever forget that truth and you will succeed in all that you do – for your good and for His glory.

[bctt tweet=”Dear Daughter, never forget that God loves you. #lovemom @myovrflowingcup”]


Heather is a follower of Jesus Christ, devoted wife of 22 years to her high school sweetheart, and homeschooling mother of their two teenage boys.

She can be found blogging about faith, food, and frugality at www.myoverflowingcup.com


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  1. Dawn says:

    What an encouraging post, Heather. As I read your words a few things filed through my mind. 1st, my heart immediately sighed over your loss, I am sorry. 2nd, I kept thinking of the daughters He will possibly bring your way someday, through your boys or otherwise. And 3rd, back to the beginning…the encouragement and a grace to choose to ignore the failure lie that robs moms of the peace in Christ.

    What a blessing to read your heart for mothers and daughters, thank you.


  2. Lux Ganzon says:

    So beautiful, heartwarming, sweet, thoughtful and really touching. She would have been a lucky girl to be born from a wonderful mother like you.

    I’m sure God has reasons. Thanks for sharing this to us.


  3. Tina says:

    This is an absolutely beautiful post. Thank you for these words, Heather! My mother struggled with a lot as I was growing up and while I realize now she did the best she could with what she had, I would have given anything to hear these words from her. They brought me to tears. I needed to hear them today. Blessed by your heart and love for the Lord. God bless, Tina

    • Heather @ My Overflowing Cup says:


      I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Please know that I can personally relate to your words as I feel exactly the same way about my own mother.

      Thankfully, we serve a God who is big enough to fill in where others have left a void. It is my prayer that He has done that for you.

      May He continue to fill your cup to overflowing, Tina. Blessings to you and yours.

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