Before you read the following steps on how to curb mommy anger, you might find it interesting to read about the day I scared my children with my very first eruption of frustration… the dreaded mommy roar.
It was ugly.
You can read about it here. Sarah Ann of Faith Along the Way blog was brave enough to host the story. My prayer is that it will speak to many tired, frustrated, guilt ridden mothers.
You are not alone. Go read my story.
A few practical steps to overcome mommy anger:
- Repent and ask forgiveness. After we blow our cool, we get to choose whether our anger will define our relationship with our child, or if humility and grace will build our ties stronger. Apologizing to our children for our awful behavior doesn’t demean our position as parent. If anything, it shows them that we value them so much more than what our actions just showed. Owning our junk and showing our children a repentant heart will give them an example worth following and, ultimately, give them a sweet taste for Christ.
- Know your triggers.The book of Peter tells us to be alert, prepared, and self-controlled so that our communication with the Heavenly Father may not be hindered – 1 Peter 4:7 says, “be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.” Being aware of what sets us off – like a chaotic house, cluttered counters, a schedule that’s too packed, or toddlers fishing in toilets (!!!) – can help us build healthier habits and routines to work around and avoid angry, emotion driven moments. Keeping the communication of love open between parent and child is vital and it starts with the adult being the adult; which means (1) you know what your weaknesses are, and (2) you know how to manage them to the benefit of the relationship.
- Forgive your child. A child will naturally show what he/she is – a child. As parents, it is our duty to correct, coach and encourage our child through their behaviors. However, so often we forget that parenting also means we must forgive our child’s childishness. Otherwise, anger and frustration will build against the child and erupts in words that accuse, tear down and violate connection and trust.
- Seek the Lord’s guidance.You know we don’t need to blindly hack away at this mom thing, right? I know it feels like we have no idea what we’re doing, but we have an Instruction Manual that provides infinite wisdom. Dig into the Lord’s word, daily. He says in Isaiah 40:11 that “He gently leads those who have young.” Ask Him for help and guidance. He will nourish your soul and lead you in your efforts to raise up arrows for Him. All while keeping your cool. 🙂
- Practice it. Getting rid of mommy anger will take practice, persistent weaning, and redirecting.We won’t always get it right, but at the end of the day when those little voices say “I love you, mommy,” there remains grace – the kind that sees our flaws, loves us still, and gives us strength and hope despite our broken mommy efforts.
To encourage your journey in controlling your anger, here is a free printable of Bible verses for When You are Angry.