Recently at a business convention, I had the opportunity to sit and watch wives as they came alongside with their husbands, gracing him with their support in his business ventures.
Some did so happily, others with a more begrudging attitude.
However, I realized that whether it’s in business, ministry, or everyday life, wives generally long to see their husbands succeed.
However, with that longing, also comes the fear that he won’t. Honestly, sometimes I find it hard to step back and let my husband do his thing when I’m convinced he will fail or won’t do it quite right.
But, I also know that God’s word says my husband is to be honored as leader in the marriage, the home, the parenting… all of it.
So while some days, my husband’s tactics don’t set so well with me, I also know that what God asks us to do, He provides strength to accomplish.
Here are a few ways that a wife can come alongside her husband, supporting and encouraging him, ultimately helping him succeed in all aspects of his life.
How a Wife can Help her Husband Succeed
1. Pray for yourself.
I haven’t always prayed for myself. Somehow, I didn’t find it quite as necessary as praying for others.
But praying for myself to have a softened, understanding heart toward my husband has been the most effective way of nipping any seed of contention from my heart.
Pray for yourself to be made new in attitude and heart. Pray to become the wife of your husband’s dreams.
2. Respect your husband based on his God ordained position, and not so much on his bumbling human performance.
When I first considered this concept, it became very clear to me that when God told me to respect my husband, He did not add “if he deserves it” or “when he earns it”.
When I began looking at the bigger picture, I was able to rise above some of the feelings of anger and frustration.
Getting a better perspective helped me respect my husband’s headship based on what God says rather than how I felt about a situation.
When being reverent toward my husband became an act of obedience to the Lord, I was given strength to control my words and actions more.
3. Be his cheerleader.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before.
The goal here is to simply do as we are instructed in Ephesians 4:29:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs”
Key words being “according to their needs”.
I have a tendency to blurt things out. Sometimes those things aren’t very up-building to my husband.
Choosing words carefully, speaking with wisdom and faithful instruction, is a balm to any one’s heart, especially when they’ve just experienced a disappointment or their high hopes went awry.
Instead of saying “I told you so” or using the huff, or the sigh, or the disdainful facial expressions, try to let him see that you genuinely care about and share his disappointments. The poor man is probably embarrassed enough the way it is, who are we to add insult to injury?
Quietly extending gracious words of discretion has a way of calling a man to greater caution and consideration the next time around.
Another aspect of being a cheerleader, is that sometimes a cheerleader does some high kicking. So when your husband needs some motivation to excel in a certain area… no don’t kick him!
But, a wife’s gentle kicks encouragement assure him that she’s on his side. This will be good for his heart and enable him to see his successes as much greater accomplishments.
For me today, encouraging my husband when I’m sure his methods will fail, is still be a challenge. But over time, my heart has become more conditioned and trained to let him hear more of what is good and up-building.
The effort isn’t always done perfectly, but it has always been worth it.
You can do this, too!
This post first appeared on Christian Wife University.