5 Ways to Protect Your Husband’s Heart

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” ~Proverbs 31:11-12~

As I pondered these verses I found myself wondering, “Does my husband’s heart safely trust in me?”

“Am I taking measures to ensure that he CAN trust in me?”

“What does that look like on a day to day basis?”

There are times a disconnect happens in the marriage. When this happens, it is time to evaluate ourselves, and each seek the Lord and humble ourselves to what He would have us do.

Maybe you feel a disconnect in your marriage today… or maybe a little bit of irritation that could easily turn to bitterness…or maybe its a gaping hole the size of the Grand Canyon.

Whatever your current situation, wherever you find yourself today, take the time to consider these 5 ways to protect your husband’s heart. Allow God’s word to speak to you in a new and refreshing way.

5 Ways to Protect Your Husband’s Heart

1. Do not withhold yourself.

Yes, this is first and foremost on the list, because sex is a very important part of marriage.

So important, in fact, that the enemy tries his utmost to confuse and conflict the topic and act of it. Sadly, he has distorted the sanctity and holiness of the Marriage Bed in to the point of damaging many hearts, minds and marriages.

Here is a biblical reasoning for not withholding sex from your spouse:

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife.” ~1 Corinthians 7:3-4

I haven’t always appreciated this Scripture. You can read a little of my hissy-fit when you click here.

Today, these verses have been great reminders during the times I am tempted to keep my body from my husband as a way to get revenge for something he had done.

2. Speak kind words.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” ~Proverbs 31:26~

It is so important to let our words be understanding, encouraging and respectful of our husbands. Especially when he messes up. Most likely he already feels bad enough. Who am I to add insult to injury?

Focusing on the good things he does and then voicing my appreciation, goes a long way in assuring my husband that I am on his side and that I am interested in protecting his heart.

When harsh words want to fly, take a moment and remember what he does right. This will help you choose to extend grace to him more readily.

Take inventory of what is in your heart. What we shower onto others comes from the overflow of what we are filled with. (Luke 6:45).

3. Evaluate your friendships.

My husband needs to be confident that its OK to be human around me. His heart cannot safely trust in me if he is worried I’ll demean or degrade his name.

In the past I have needed to take a moment and think over the conversations I have with my friends. I had to ask some hard questions like,

“Are they up building?”

“Is what I said, something I would want my husband to hear?”

Here is a good rule of thumb: If your dialog with your friends includes talking about what a dunce your husband, or their husband is, it’s time to find new friends.

“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a [wo]man who talks too much.” ~Proverbs 13:20~

Don’t fall into the trap of gossiping about your husband. Often we grow to become like the people we hang out with. Choose wise friends who will honor your marriage and speak respectfully of their own husbands.

“He who walks with wise grows wise.” ~Proverbs 20:19~

4. Forgive your husband.

This one can be so hard. Sometimes it is helpful to look at what forgiveness is not in order to get a better grasp at what forgiveness is.

It is crucial to the health of a marriage to willingly and continually practice forgiveness. Holding on to things your husband has done or said will do these 4 things.

The bottom line is your husband’s heart cannot safely trust in you when he is continually being reminded him of his mistakes, ways he’s hurt you, or things he’s said.

He will never be able to be completely at ease around you if he knows you will use his mistakes and wrong words against him. The “silent treatment”, the “guilt trip”, the sighing, and the “you hurt me so much” looks all come into play here.

Choose to forgive early. Be the first one to run to the Cross during difficult times.

5. Build your home.

“A wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.” ~Proverbs 14:1~

“How is a house built?” you ask. Let’s let God’s word speak for itself:

“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” ~Proverbs 24:3~

It does a husband’s heart good when he knows his wife is capable and wise in building their home.

He can rest assured knowing the hearts of his children are well taken care of.

He can know his home is a haven of peace and love for himself and all who abide there.

Being proactive about establishing an atmosphere of love in your home, being efficient with your time and resources, always improving upon your family and your home are all ways to ensure that your husband’s heart can safely trust in you.

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  1. Beth Stiff says:

    You share such good wisdom and what you've been sharing continues to speak to my heart as I go through this love dare series. I especially appreciated #5 as I've had to really work in this area with my husband gone and more on my plate. It's important to me that he knows he can trust me to take care of our home, even if that requires pulling in some help when needed. πŸ™‚ Blessings to

    • Kaylene Yoder says:

      Thank you! All glory to Him. The words are His! I didn&#39;t even want to start a blog. Thought it was for women who had nothing better to do πŸ™‚ Oh! and the word &quot;blog&quot; made me turn up my nose! Lol Funny how He works &amp; convicts! :)<br /><br />You are an inspiration, Beth. I can only imagine the extra responsibilities you have. You are a brave woman. Your husband is a blessed man,

  2. Sharita Knobloch says:

    I think about these things often, Kaylene (and re-think them when I fall short!) Thanks for sharing this great insight over at #EverydayJesus. Love what you are doing over here!

  3. Jenny Cupido says:

    Hi Kaylene, I&#39;m visiting from Essential Fridays link up. So glad to find another christian UK blogger! Love this post. So to the point and filled with the wisdom and word of God. Looking forward to reading more! Jenny

  4. Leslie says:

    Great advice and a good reminder for us wives. Thanks for sharing. Please come back and link-up next week for WYWW! Love having you.

  5. Pamela says:

    What a awesome list — oh, how I want my husband&#39;s heart to be protected. #3 is my mantra and I highlighted it when I was mentoring young wives. I never heard my mother criticize my father and I&#39;ve tried to keep that in my own marriage. The beauty is, I see it in my own children&#39;s marriages. Praying God will bless you and you lead others into marriage as God intended.<br />Joyfully,<

  6. living from glory to glory says:

    Hello, I wish women would learn what it is she is doing that is tearing down her house!!<br />Building is one thing and we can see the progress, it is the little things that tear it down!<br />Blessings, Miss Roxy

  7. Ruth Bender says:

    Thank-you again!! πŸ™‚ So much food for thought and encouragement!! Thank-you for letting God use you!!

  8. Dawn says:

    I love your heart to pour into women and encourage them to be wives who love their husbands, it is genuine and endearing. Too many times we can be condescending as we admonish one another and I don&#39;t think that is the Lord&#39;s heart when that word comes to mind or conversation. Yesterday I found myself convicted that I may have uttered a word that did not honor my husband to my friend.

  9. Nathana Clay says:

    This is a great article! Every point is important! I really liked #3 because it is advice you don&#39;t hear very often. I was fortunate to hear it as a newlywed. Instead of complaining about our husbands (even if our friends are doing it), we need to build them up, be their publicist. Talking good behind their back will get back to them and make them feel loved and respected. πŸ™‚

  10. Jennifer says:

    Wonderful wisdom, my friend! I’m particularly proud of your bravery in discussing #1. It’s not always a comfortable topic to talk about, but I couldn’t agree with you more!

  11. Heather @ My Overflowing Cup says:

    Thank you for these beautiful reminders, Kaylene!

    These are things that most of us know, but we often allow the busyness of life to push them to the back of our minds.

    If we want our marriages to be the best they can, we must be intentional about these things.

    Thanks for sharing this important list. Blessings to you and yours!

  12. Kim Adams Morgan says:

    Sending this on to share, Kaylene. Great advice for all of us to protect the person God has given us to love. #5. I have noticed more and more, when I become stressed, angry, high-strung, you name it – I can watch my husband go from calm, to match my mood very fast. If I stay calm and not stress about anything, my husband’s life is much less stressful. Oh, if I’d only know this when we were first married. πŸ™‚

  13. Jennifer says:

    Just as good the second time around. πŸ˜‰ I’m so glad you linked this one up at G&T – may your wisdom spread far and wide! Much love, friend.

  14. Greg says:

    How I wish my wife of 40 plus years would read something like this and consider it. I am not perfect, but I actively seek to understand and consider. Numbers 1, 2 and 4 speak so much wisdom. I realize that after estrogen stops women change, but I so miss feeling desired, being spoken to kindly, and getting past the past. Absent major transgressions, a relationship requires both parties to need forgiveness and to give forgiveness. Reading your words makes my heart ache. If only…

  15. Greg says:

    To those women who read this, consider it and attempt to apply it — kudos! Great advice validated through the eyes of a man.

  16. Heather Bussian says:

    Such a good article! I loved every bit of it. I really liked that building your home is on this list. It’s so true that our husbands need to have a safe haven.

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