“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” ~Proverbs 31:11-12~
As I pondered these verses I found myself wondering, “Does my husband’s heart safely trust in me?”
“Am I taking measures to ensure that he CAN trust in me?”
“What does that look like on a day to day basis?”
There are times a disconnect happens in the marriage. When this happens, it is time to evaluate ourselves, and each seek the Lord and humble ourselves to what He would have us do.
Maybe you feel a disconnect in your marriage today… or maybe a little bit of irritation that could easily turn to bitterness…or maybe its a gaping hole the size of the Grand Canyon.Whatever your current situation, wherever you find yourself today, take the time to consider these 5 ways to protect your husband’s heart. Allow God’s word to speak to you in a new and refreshing way.
5 Ways to Protect Your Husband’s Heart
1. Do not withhold yourself.
Yes, this is first and foremost on the list, because sex is a very important part of marriage.
So important, in fact, that the enemy tries his utmost to confuse and conflict the topic and act of it. Sadly, he has distorted the sanctity and holiness of the Marriage Bed in to the point of damaging many hearts, minds and marriages.
Here is a biblical reasoning for not withholding sex from your spouse:
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife.” ~1 Corinthians 7:3-4
Today, these verses have been great reminders during the times I am tempted to keep my body from my husband as a way to get revenge for something he had done.
2. Speak kind words.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” ~Proverbs 31:26~
It is so important to let our words be understanding, encouraging and respectful of our husbands. Especially when he messes up. Most likely he already feels bad enough. Who am I to add insult to injury?
Focusing on the good things he does and then voicing my appreciation, goes a long way in assuring my husband that I am on his side and that I am interested in protecting his heart.
When harsh words want to fly, take a moment and remember what he does right. This will help you choose to extend grace to him more readily.
Take inventory of what is in your heart. What we shower onto others comes from the overflow of what we are filled with. (Luke 6:45).
3. Evaluate your friendships.
My husband needs to be confident that its OK to be human around me. His heart cannot safely trust in me if he is worried I’ll demean or degrade his name.
In the past I have needed to take a moment and think over the conversations I have with my friends. I had to ask some hard questions like,
“Are they up building?”
“Is what I said, something I would want my husband to hear?”
Here is a good rule of thumb: If your dialog with your friends includes talking about what a dunce your husband, or their husband is, it’s time to find new friends.
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a [wo]man who talks too much.” ~Proverbs 13:20~
Don’t fall into the trap of gossiping about your husband. Often we grow to become like the people we hang out with. Choose wise friends who will honor your marriage and speak respectfully of their own husbands.
“He who walks with wise grows wise.” ~Proverbs 20:19~
4. Forgive your husband.
This one can be so hard. Sometimes it is helpful to look at what forgiveness is not in order to get a better grasp at what forgiveness is.
It is crucial to the health of a marriage to willingly and continually practice forgiveness. Holding on to things your husband has done or said will do these 4 things.
The bottom line is your husband’s heart cannot safely trust in you when he is continually being reminded him of his mistakes, ways he’s hurt you, or things he’s said.
He will never be able to be completely at ease around you if he knows you will use his mistakes and wrong words against him. The “silent treatment”, the “guilt trip”, the sighing, and the “you hurt me so much” looks all come into play here.
Choose to forgive early. Be the first one to run to the Cross during difficult times.
5. Build your home.
“A wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.” ~Proverbs 14:1~
“How is a house built?” you ask. Let’s let God’s word speak for itself:
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” ~Proverbs 24:3~
It does a husband’s heart good when he knows his wife is capable and wise in building their home.
He can rest assured knowing the hearts of his children are well taken care of.
He can know his home is a haven of peace and love for himself and all who abide there.
Being proactive about establishing an atmosphere of love in your home, being efficient with your time and resources, always improving upon your family and your home are all ways to ensure that your husband’s heart can safely trust in you.
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