Often heard when speaking of a wife’s role, Proverbs 14:1 simply states,
“A wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
The verses following that, are largely unsung, but we can find nine practical instructions for building a better home. May you be encouraged to become a better heart for your home, a treasure truly worth building upon.
9 Ways to Build the Heart of Your Home
1. Proverbs 14:2: “He whose walk is upright fears the Lord, but he whose ways are devious despises him.”
A wise woman seeks to be in right standing with the Lord so that she may stand pure and faultless in the eyes of God and man. She knows and seeks to function in God’s design for her role in the marriage. Her obedience to Him shows she reveres Him and trusts His will.
2. Proverbs 14:3: “…the lips of the wise protect them.”
Inevitably, what we are filled with will come out of our mouths.
Our language, both verbally and internally, shapes our words and attitudes. Which in turn, will shape the culture of our home. If we speak life, we enjoy life. If we speak grouch, we must plan to enjoy grouch.
There are times when our words are wrong, no matter how right we are.
3. Proverbs 14:4: “…from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.”
No, a wife/mom doesn’t have to work like an ox. However, when “she sets about her work vigorously” (Pr.31:17), she shows dedication to her home and her loved ones hearts.
“Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor” (Pr. 12:24).
4. Proverbs 14:5: “A truthful witness does not deceive”.
Deception. Intentional misguiding.
If we desire to build a healthy, loving home we should never stoop to deceptive manipulation. Being honest and straight-forward will build an atmosphere of trust and respect.
What we speak, we will reap. Speak evil, reap destruction. Speak life, reap construction.
Maybe we don’t lie. But what are our motives?
5. Proverbs 14:6-7: “…knowledge comes easily to the discerning. Stay away from a foolish [wo]man, for you will not find knowledge on his[her] lips.”
Other people can impact the way we think about and act within our home. Let’s evaluate our friendships using Proverbs 13:20 as a guide, “He who walks with wise, grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves hard questions. The hard question here is, “Is this friendship building my home well?” If not, it’s time to draw boundaries.
6. Proverbs 14:8: “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways,”
A prudent woman is a woman who thinks. She has a plan and she uses her time and resources wisely. She “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Pr. 31:27).
A healthy home should be a peaceful, loving oasis for all who enter. They will be able to let their guard down and relax from all the craziness life can throw at them.
7. Proverbs 14:9: “…goodwill is found among the upright.”
We are vessels of God’s character designed to sprinkle His love, joy and peace where ever we are. I don’t know a better place to start doing that than in our homes.
If we want to be world changers we must to begin within the walls of our home.
If we want to carry influence in this world we must begin with the hearts in our home. (Read Proverbs 31:12, Romans 12:10, 1 Thessalonians 4:29)
Giving our family the best version of ourselves is often the hardest. However, who we are at home is who we truly are.
8. Proverbs 14:10: “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”
We all have concerns and sorrows. However, the way we handle those situations have a massive impact on the health and culture of our home.
Are we a joy to the hearts in our home? When the storms rage, what kind of person are we to our spouse? To our children?
Our greatest responsibility is being responsible for our own responses; being accountable for our words, actions, and attitudes. And making little tweaks where necessary for the benefit of our self, our husband’s heart, our marriage and our home.
9. Proverbs 14:11 is much like verse one. “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”
As upright, God fearing women we set our hope and trust in Him. Building our home has less to do with our abilities and more to do with our attitudes. We have the power set the atmosphere of our home by our demeanor. We can either set a cold, sullen, critical atmosphere, or we can set a safe, loving, accepting atmosphere where hearts can thrive.
From personal experience, my home flourished more after I chose to seek the Lord’s guidance and direction, laying down my self, diving into His Word seeking an eternal perspective. What did I gain? A new heart. With the growth of that new heart grew a better home. And in that better home dwell hearts who can safely trust in me more and more each day.
Let’s build our treasures well, dear one.