“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” ~Proverbs 31:11-12~
As I pondered these verses I found myself wondering, “Does my husband’s heart safely trust in me?”
“Am I taking measures to ensure that he CAN trust in me?”
“What does that look like on a day to day basis?”
There are times a disconnect happens in the marriage. When this happens, it is time to evaluate ourselves, and each seek the Lord and humble ourselves to what He would have us do.
Maybe you feel a disconnect in your marriage today… or maybe a little bit of irritation that could easily turn to bitterness…or maybe its a gaping hole the size of the Grand Canyon.
Whatever your current situation, wherever you find yourself today, take the time to consider these 5 ways to protect your husband’s heart. Allow God’s word to speak to you in a new and refreshing way.
5 Ways to Protect Your Husband’s Heart
Yes, this is first and foremost on the list, because sex really is that important to a man. It is his greatest expression of love to you. After I considered that my husband views marriage differently than I do, it became easier to understand his need.
Here is a biblical reasoning supporting this:
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife.” ~1 Cor. 7:3-4~
This is not to say the wife has no voice when her husband needs sex. Our God promotes equality and expects us to submit to each other as we would to Him. But for me, these verses have been great reminders during the times I am tempted to keep my body from my husband as a way to get revenge for something he had done.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” ~Proverbs 31:26~
It is so important to let our words be understanding, encouraging and respectful of our husbands. Especially when he messes up. Most likely he already feels bad enough. Who am I to add insult to injury?
Focusing on the good things he does and then voicing my appreciation, goes a long way in assuring my husband that I am on his side and that I am interested in protecting his heart.
When harsh words want to fly, take a moment and remember what he does right. This will help you choose to extend grace to him more readily.
My husband needs to be confident that its OK to be human around me. His heart cannot safely trust in me if he is worried I’ll demean or degrade his name.
In the past I have needed to take a moment and think over the conversations I have with my friends. I had to ask some hard questions like,
“Are they up building?”
“Is what I said, something I would want my husband to hear?”
Here is a good rule of thumb: If your dialog with your friends includes talking about what a dunce your husband, or their husband is, it’s time to find new friends.
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a [wo]man who talks too much.” ~Proverbs 13:20~
Don’t fall into the trap of gossiping about your husband. Often we grow to become like the people we hang out with. Choose wise friends who will honor your marriage and speak respectfully of their own husbands.
“He who walks with wise grows wise.” ~Proverbs 20:19~
This one can be so hard. It is crucial to willingly and continually practice forgiveness. Holding on to things your husband has done or said will do these 4 things.
The bottom line is my husband’s heart cannot safely trust in me if I am continually reminding him of his mistakes, ways he’s hurt me, or things he’s said.
He will never be able to be completely at ease around me if he is always afraid that whatever he does will be used against him later.
The “silent treatment”, the “guilt trip”, the sighing, and the “you hurt me so much” looks all come into play here.
Try to forgive early. Do it often. And completely.
“A wise woman builds her house, but with her hands the foolish one tears hers down.” ~Proverbs 14:1~
“How is a house built?” you ask. Let’s let God’s word speak for itself:
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.” ~Proverbs 24:3~
It does a husband’s heart good when he knows his wife, his queen, is smart and capable in doing her daily tasks. He can know the hearts of his children, his little princes and princesses, are well taken care of. He can know his home, his castle, is a safe haven of peace and love.
Being proactive about establishing an atmosphere of love in my home, being efficient with my time and resources, always improving upon my family and my home are all ways to ensure that my husband’s heart can safely trust in me.
What about you? How do you protect your husband’s heart?